The other day, Kate and I were discussing the difference between a “tool” and a “douche bag”. It is a subtle but important differentiation, and we came up with the following guide. We hope you find it helpful, and failing that, offensive.
Tool: Drives a champagne Lexus LX with gold trim.
Douche Bag: Drives a black Cadillac Escalade with gold trim.
Tool: Wears one polo shirt with one popped collar.
Douche Bag: Wears two or more polo shirts with one or more popped collars.
Tool: Tries to network with you at a party.
Douche Bag: Tries to network with you at a funeral.
Tool: Working on a Web 2.0 social networking application.
Douche Bag: Working on a Web 2.0 social networking application that will be the next Facebook/MySpace/YouTube.
One Comment
thanks dane! curious what I should do if a douche bag attacks? should i open my jacket to seem big as possible but talk in a calm voice, play dead, or just fight back immediately?