Monthly Archives: July 2008

My Review of The Dark Knight, in Three Words or Less

Holy shit.


More hot. You stand slack-jawed and dumb, staring forward, a gossamer thread of drool swaying delicately from the corner of your mouth. The brain is fevered and broken, it cannot be helped. A cool breeze allows a fleeting moment of mental clarity, and you realize that the new Coldplay album is awesome. So awesome. You […]


SCHLLLLP. It’s hot. So hot. 99 degrees outside, 99 degrees in here. It’s so hot that even the mountains are spontaneously combusting. Clothes are too burdensome, so I lounge around in my underpants. I sit here sweating away in my own home office, sticking to and peeling off my fake leather chair as I shift […]

Unsteadier Footing

They say you should shuffle your feet when walking through a shallow sea, to avoid accidentally stepping on a stingray. The same technique could save your life when traveling across my living room. Someone should really clean up this mess.