California Here He Comes

Okay ya’ll, listen up. In not too long an hour I leave for San Francisco, and by this time tomorrow I will be snug in the womb of Mission, no doubt suckling at a maté and swaddled in soft cloths of florescence. Indeed, such will kick off a two-month pilgrimage back to my beloved west coast, and I intend to greet the Pacific with a roiling fury heretofore unknown by its vast depths.

Upon my back I carry three books, three of my favorites, which set the proper rhythm for this grand excursion. One, Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, written in a brilliant prose that one day I hope to emulate, if not the drug-wild carnage that lent to its inception.

Two, John Hodgman’s The Areas of My Expertise, a champion of creativity and invention that has given more to the imagination than anything of late.

“I am not romantic about squirrels.”

Aye, lad. Nor am I. Nor is anyone, for that matter. But a good point to clear up, nevertheless.

Finally, The Dharma Bums, notable as Jack Kerouac’s best work. Yes. I still call bullshit on On the Road, even after reading it three times and despite the accolades layered upon it.

However. I am ashamed that I left my copy of Richard Brautigan’s Trout Fishing in America back in Indiana, and I feel that somehow my San Francisco experience will be incomplete without such a cultural field manual. No matter. I am certain that the San Francisco Public Library has at least a hundred copies and an entire wing named after the author. All I need to secure a copy is a prescription from a doctor with questionable credentials, and the brilliant spoils from one of the city’s many LSD dispensaries.

It’s been said before but it’s worth saying again.

It will be a lovely summer.


  1. Lena
    May 22, 2009 – 1:01 am

    Happy Trails Dane! It has been a long time. I found you on Twitter (which I recently joined) and slyly navigated myself to check out your website. I hope you are well. It sounds like you are and are about to embark on an exciting adventure west. Safe travels :)!

  2. Matt
    May 22, 2009 – 9:55 am

    “swaddled in soft cloths of florescence.”

    I can only assume that you’re referring to a snuggie and/or a slanket – in which case, you should submit your copy to the creators, as it’s easily the best I’ve read/seen.

    Enjoy San Fran. Watch out for hobos trying to steal your slanket – the ‘excalibur’ of hobo apparel.

  3. Tim
    May 22, 2009 – 11:52 am

    I call bullshit on On the Road too.