I yearn for those olden days where we would write at length of such subjects banal, yet of recent my limited mental faculties have been tied up with liquor and graduate statements. Sometimes these two will act in concert with one another, usually to amusing but altogether useless results.

With that noted, allow me a moment to discuss what I have recently discovered as an absolutely worthless writing stratagem, detailed here in an effort to save you from pursuing a similarly fruitless endeavor. Lacking any true and particular clarity of term I shall refer to it as asynchronous writing, much to the amusement of few and the befuddlement of most. Nonetheless, such shall be the topic of question.

Asynchronous writing could be compared similarly to stream-of-consciousness composition, differing only in how it utterly lacks the comparably rigid structure of such mental drivel. You would not be faulted for terming it diarrhea of the mouth, excepting that it is indeed not the mouth from whence the bowels be cleared in this instance. Rather it is a far more efficient transmission taking place directly from brain to paper, or to a Terrible Digital System, bypassing the verbal entirely in favor of the written word.

The result of this process is no shortage of words, lest it be a concern of yours that the asynchronous methodology would lack in producing so much quality offal. Rather, the process creates a limitless trove of precious ideas that are useless when attempting to frame a more coherent composition. This collection is naught but a burlap sack brimming with stray words, that would be best topped off with stones and cast from a bridge. Left to its devices, an asynchronous writing regimen will cycle upon itself, producing drivel ad infinitum and smothering you under its sheer girth.

Even when arbitrarily limited to a hundred pages the system continues its ceaseless recursion, impossibly increasing in complexity within its closed informational system and still producing nothing of value. The only hope is to abandon asynchronous writing in favor of the more traditional synchronous writing, which makes the bold assertion that related words should follow one another in a general succession that facilitates understanding.