Last night we ran up into the foothills of Mount Hood and, in an effort to appease the winter gods, burned piles of skis at our Pray for Snow party.

It’s amazing how much of the stuff that goes into making a ski, how much of that toxic garbage just burns like hell when you lay torch to it. We also burned cardboard effigies of John Wayne and Fabio, the significance of which was ambiguous, beyond the fact that they were made out of cardboard and they weren’t nailed down. Which was really the reason we burned most of the shit we burned last night.

Once our plumes of black, acrid smoke are finished enveloping the globe and blocking out the sun, we’re bound to have a killer winter this year. That is, assuming that our attempt to decrease the global albedo wasn’t offset by our contribution to global greenhouse gas emissions. Which is very likely.